Story of my “Square Hat”

In 1997, I was dating a guy name Chuck. His parents, being university professors, expected all their sons’ GF to come with a “square hat,” meaning having a university degree.  At that time, they were scheduled to visit Vancouver.  So a week before they arrived, I went to a local studio specializing in taking university grad photos, meaning those of students wearing a gown and a square hat. Then I picked the best shot and had it blown up, framed and hanged in my office. I figured that this would mislead my ex’s parents to “assume” I have that “hat.”  His parents came and I got away with it because they never asked me about that picture.  But I felt so guilty about this lie.

You see, not having a “square hat” had always been something I felt ashamed of, therefore I used to avoid talking about university or colleges at all cost.   Then, I regretted so much for not having been a better student in my younger years and for not having taken part-time studies after I got out of high school.  At this time, despite the disappointment, I still did not give up on going back to school.

At this same time, my kids, Kelvin and Jody were 4 and 6 years old.  When they first saw that picture, they asked me which university I graduated from.  Very quickly, I replied UBC.  Then a couple of years later, when I couldn’t answer their school homework anymore, they confronted me by saying “Mom, I thought you graduated from UBC?” I said, “Yeah I did, but after I graduated, I got into a car accident and I was in coma for 3 months so I forgot everything I learned.”  Whew!  I got away again. They believed it for another 2 years or so.  Then one day they asked me, “Mom, I asked grandma but how come she doesn’t remember you being in a car accident and in a coma?” Then I said, “Oh, because grandma is getting old so she can’t remember everything anymore.”  But my mom was only 52 years old at that time!  Oh my gosh!  I felt SO bad about lying when I am always teaching my kids to be honest.  Trust me, it ate me every day.

Two years later, in 2003, I learned about SFU’s EMBA (Executive MBA) program.  It was a 2-year part time program designed for mature adults. I decided to apply.  I got an interview and the lady recognized me as the Amy from the Amy’s Loonie Toonie town, a dollar store franchise that I started.  She recognized me from the front page of local newspaper. She liked me but told me she would only accept me if I could score 650 on my GMAT while the ones with an undergrad degree only needed to score 600. She wanted to make sure I could handle the academic side of the program since I only graduated from high school.  Fair enough.  I was determined to go for it.

I found myself a 12-week prep course called “Crack the GMAT.”   By the time I got to class #5, in the middle of the class, I had an epiphany.  I suddenly raised my hand and told my teacher, “You know what Al?  I am trying too hard here.  School is really not for me so I am going to go back and do what I am good at, which is making money and then hire those with square hats to work for me instead.  It’s more efficient.”  The teacher thought I was hilarious and we are still friends up to today.  And then every person I hired since 2003 came with a hat.

So now that I am done with the “idea of going back to school,” I figured it was time to confess to my kids about the picture with “the fake hat”.

I spent the whole day rehearsing and feeling nervous.  After dinner, I asked them to come into my office.  I started by saying “Kids, I have something to tell you.  You see, this picture with the square hat here is fake.”  Then, they both laughed and said, “Oh, we figured that out long time ago, Mom” and left the room laughing out loud. Whew! That simple! That quick!  And I was very glad to get another big item cleared up.

Looking back to these episodes now, I am very happy to have gone through this process of trying to go back to school, otherwise I will always wonder what would have happened if I had not tried.  I hate dying with regrets.  From that time on, I felt no more shame to admit that I don’t have a square hat.  I would tell people that I graduated from the School of Life.

TODAY I stand tall and proud of what I have achieved so far especially since I don’t have THE hat.  I mean how many square hatters do you know are able to build successful business, retire comfortably at the age of 38 like I did 5 years ago and go around the world for two years?

I will continue to upgrade myself and learn things that interest me because knowledge and education will always be things I value.