Nov. 28/07 – Today, Allen wrote me to tell me that Jimmy (Jbro) has intestine cancer.
I can’t even begin to say how sad I feel now. :(((! By the time I read again what Allen wrote, the word “cancer” just made tears pour down my face non-stop…… Perhaps it’s because of dad and grandpa who died of cancer….. :((((
I called Jbro over to talk. It hit me so hard that I am very depressed. He said that he first felt the pain in the tummy back in August but the pain got worse so he went to the doctor. The doctor told him he suspected cancer and sent him to hospital for colonoscopy. The result came back 2 days ago confirming it’s cancer.
We both cried as we talked about our old times. I have totally forgiven him for whatever I was upset with him about because there is nothing scarier now than realizing I could lose this bro someday…..:(((( I love him very much…..
I think this is even a bigger “wake up” call for me. I feel very depressed now because I know I am totally helpless. I can’t even forget what I witnessed before: the difficulties my dad and my grandpa went through battling cancer – so sad, so painful. And with this new episode in my life, I am very nervous in having to witness Jbro going through the same pain and at the young age of 34……
What good is money when there is no health? What good is money when there is no love, no family, no friends??? Why do we take things for granted until a bad news like this comes up before we sit down and think of what’s most valuable to us??
This is the history behind Jbro and me….
2002 – I had just been divorced. My business was down. I was in negative net worth.
One evening, at a family dinner at dad’s favorite restaurant on Hastings St., Mom shed tears upon noticing that I was very down and that I lost 10 lbs within that week alone. Who wouldn’t? At this time, I needed to come up with money within 72 hrs to cover my obligation to all my clients and so to maintain my credit standing. Jbro offered 20K to me saying, “I know this is not much but it’s 100% of all my savings that you can use.” I was deeply touched but I declined politely – it was his 100% savings yet it was only a small fraction what I needed. But I will never forget this kind gesture.
Shortly after, he came and told me how much I inspired him. He requested that I be his god-sis. It was my pleasure. From then on, I have treated him as my younger brother and as “siblings,” we had our ups and downs together but my love for him has never waned.
It takes rain before one sees rainbows. Jbro is one of the few that journeyed with me through those heavy rainy days. I have vowed to myself never to go through those same days again which also means that there is no way that anyone will have the chance to give me the offer that Jbro gave, which in turn, means that Jbro’s position will always be that special to me.
2004 – I thought there were unwanted visitors around my house. Without even thinking twice, I called Jbro over to help and he didn’t even think twice also before coming over right away.
I introduced Allen to Jbro and they became good friends right away. Allen says that Jbro has an “banned from death medal,” meaning that I will let him get away with any mistakes he makes. I plead guilty to this. This shows how much I appreciate him for what he offered me when I needed the help. It is more valuable for me if someone offered me $100 which is 100% of all he has than if someone offered me $100,000 if that is just 10% of what he has.
I still remember every once in a while the times when I would come home and see fresh roses on my desk but with no cards. I would immediately know that they were from him. He always hand delivered flowers to me if he didn’t see me for 3 weeks or so. And he would always personally arrange the flowers instead of letting my nanny do it…. This is Jbro’s brand of his uniqueness and of his showing his love to his “sister.”
Jan 28/08 – I just got off the phone with Jbro. So glad to hear his voice being so “up.” He says that he feels totally normal, just a little drowzy after the treatment. He says that chemo is like drinking cough syrup and the 15-second radiation is totally painless. He won’t lose any hair either. He says he can still keep his late night “indoor sport” so he’s cool still. Hahahaha. I told him I will swing by to give him some TLC but he says he doesn’t need any yet. He promised to call us when he feels he needed “emotional support”. :)))
To China with Jbro – March 17 to April 4/08
I am so happy Jbro agreed to take a trip to China with me. I told him we will have fun since opportunity to travel with ME to China doesn’t come every day!!!
Memories we will be creating together will be with us forever!!
July 11/11 – Jbro had been suffering from so much pain even after the treatment. It could have become unbearable that he decided to end his life in his own terms. He wrote last notes to his family and his girlfriend, checked himself into a hotel and committed suicide.
I was devastated when I found out. Yet, on the other hand, I also understand why he resorted to doing that since I have personally witnessed the pain that cancer did to my dad, my grandpa and grandma in the last days of their lives…. The only comforting part for me was that I know cancer can no longer cause him pain and I know we will meet again in heaven someday. Until then, RIP bro….
Losing someone to cancer? Not again! = 4