Unlike all the other times I visited this favourite city of mine, this has been a very tough trip for me. I was really struggling emotionally during my stay. I got to witness the power of Rainbow’s fighting spirit. I got to reflect on how I want to face my final days when it’s my turn to go. I was reminded to appreciate my health and the health of those I love. I am encouraged to live every day as if it was my last day after I leave here now… And I won’t leave words unspoken anymore.
I decided to postpone my Valencia, Spain trip to be here to spend a month with Rainbow instead. Why? Because Valencia will always be there but I am not sure how many days Rainbow has left on this planet. She is on her final stage of breast cancer. She chose to go with alternative treatment instead of surgery 4 years ago. I strongly disagree with her choice but I chose to respect her decision. Despite now having 6 open wounds, she is still very happy and positive that she will recover soon. It’s been very tough to witness both her pain and what seems like ignorance to me—yet there’s nothing I can do …
I don’t want to have any regrets, which was why I chose to be here. But I didn’t know it was going to be this hard to watch her in pain, to look at her open wounds and to hear her cough in the middle of the night. The only thing I can offer is to help her hang and fold laundry daily. Help with cleaning and some errands. Most importantly, to be here to talk to her whenever she is home!
I really admire her strength and her belief that she will still be recovering soon through the alternative treatment she believes in. She spends 7 -10 hours at the clinic each day! While she is there I signed up for ping pong, mandarin, yoga and dance classes to keep myself busy and distracted. I schedule myself to be home whenever she is home as I treasured my time with her knowing this is might be the last time I will see her.
I am going home now for Chinese New Year dinner with the family then off to Valencia on Feb. 13, 2018.
I was told to choose “life over death” when I was younger! Why death?
Death as in if I knew I will be dying then how do I want to spend my final days….