Though I am proud to be a successful self-made entrepreneur, I sometimes feel sad recalling all those that I had to give up to become who I am now. I worked hard, most of the time, 18 hours a day. Then, all I wanted was to realize my dreams. Apart from providing my three children with the best education and life style that I could afford, I wanted to live a colorful life. I wanted to retire early. While I was thinking that I was doing everything that I could to make those dreams come true, little did I realize that I was losing precious moments of my life.
The most important thing that I had to give up was bonding time with my children and my mom. Lost time can never be replaced. I had little time to watch them growing. I was so occupied with my work that I rarely had the kind of time they deserved. When I was able to make time for them, they were already starting to live their own lives as young adults and so were busy to spend the kind of time I wanted to spend with them. As a result, the bonding wasn’t quite there with the older 2 children. It was already late by the time I realized this! I also had little time to spend with the others in my family, especially my mom. Also because of my hectic working schedule, I shut myself off from forming romantic relationships. Thinking back, I now question myself, “Could I have managed my time better so that I would not have lost what I did and yet still be who I am now?” I don’t really know!
As I mentioned in my previous blogs, if I had a chance to do it again, I would probably balance my time better. I really did not need to retire at 38. Had I used less time and energy to chase the buck back then, I would have had a lot of extra time to spend with my 2 older children while they were growing up. But then, given the circumstances back then, I didn’t think it was an option. Or was it and it’s just that I didn’t explore? I will never find it out. However, what I do know is that I do not want to repeat the same mistakes again.
So, recently, I decided to eventually move back to the east side to be closer to my mom because I realized that she is not getting any younger. I don’t want to regret not making the time to spend with her after she emigrates to heaven. Lost time is time lost. I can choose to spend longer time with my kids when they have the time for me but I should make it a priority to be with my mom as much as I can.
My determination not to repeat the same mistake of not bonding with my children made me decide to take my youngest child to travel and bond with for 2 years. It is one of the best choices I have ever made.
I accept that there are many stages in life. As we grow older, we become wiser and we see things in a different way. But I have learned my lesson – the hard way.
Today, I am content. I am a proud single mother of 3 very well-rounded young adults. I have the financial freedom to do what I like. I am able to give my family the kind of lifestyle I want for them. I am close to my mom and my siblings. I am able to maintain a healthy relationship with my close friends. So at the end of the day, is it worth it? YES it is….
I am delighted read about your experiences as I can learn from it as well. The point you making is true. I erred on the cautious side of life and wanted to spend more time with my son but have still not done it right. So we have to work at it daily.
Life like time waits for no man. I am keen to see what my next 10 years will hold as my son completes school.
Thanks for a great post.
It’s definitely a balancing act Deon… 🙂
While it is natural to have regrets. It is because we have 20/20 vision when it comes to reviewing the past. We also tend to be our own harshest critics. It’s human nature. The trap a lot of people fall into is to focus on the past and allow it to rob them of the joy today. You have steered clear of this instead of wallowing in self pity you accepted your errors for what they were, made corrections and gone on with life. Kudos to you.
Very well said… Thank you Steve… 🙂
Congratulations Amy for your success. I would say your parents and children must be so proud of you. You have set a good model for your children that you can achieve whatever you set your mind to. My view to relationships for successful women is not many men are courageous enough to take them on. If they are they are married. You have done well so enjoy it. You know what they say live for NOW not the past or the future.
It hasn’t been an easy path for me but it’s all worth it in the end Mindy… 🙂
These are genuinely impressive ideas. You have touched some pleasant points here. Anyway, keep up writing.
Thank you. Feel good that you resonated with that.