After a long weekend of Personal Growth Workshop, I sent out 10 messages last night including the hardest ones to my X from 2 decades ago. I decided to do that to finally clear up all my past with them, to finally, once and for all, let go. I accepted my responsibilities. I apologized to some. I thanked some. I forgave some. But most importantly is that I made them know that I was all ready to set our past aside and explore the possibility of creating a new relationship with them. This is the most “at peace” experience I have ever had. It’s like a few big rocks got actually removed from my heart. With that, I am creating the possibility of living an extraordinary life in this lifetime! I am grateful for the lessons I got from Landmark! Thank you Eric for suggesting it to me.
Over lunch today, I shared with Mom and Auntie 7 my process of reconciliation with Ricky and Stephen. They were in tears listening to me read the conversation I had with these gentlemen. I decided to remain calm and compassionate as Mom expressed her judgments of Ricky and Stephen especially. I did it. I managed to calmly ask her to imagine if I didn’t let go and took the initiative to reconnect with my Xes, Then would I ever know that, as far as I am concerned and as far as the now is concerned, they are no longer the same person to me anymore, that they don’t affect me anymore as they did before? Then I would have missed the important opportunity to open that door for my kids to reconnect with their dad. They agreed and so I suggested that they should consider letting go of their old judgments and being accepting for the sake of her grandkid’s future, too. Thankfully, she resonated to that. I also felt the power for my ability to be able to speak so calmly and so patiently to Mom without judgments (or: without arguing with her) for the first time. It was really magnificent. And this is just the beginning of my resolution to level up my relationship with my dear mother… 🙂
I recognized that it’s ok to create “unreasonable” possibilities! This is the lightest feeling I have ever had! I know the effects of what I did today will change the dynamics of my family. I look forward to creating new relationships with those that matter to me. Feeling very grateful. It’s amazing to experience this “at peace” state … 🙂