Mar. 29/09 – If I had a choice to re-do things then I would choose to retire 10 yrs later and invest more time to “bond” with Kel and Jo when they are little.
Seeing how Kel went and hug his teacher and classmates at the airport last night (after our Arizona trip) plus the hugs he did after the Abby games just confirms he is a “physical touch” person too. Just feels awkward being touchy with me, just like how awkward I feel with my mom up to this day.
I am aware that I have the love and respect of my children because of the things I have done for them and the sacrifices I have endured but to bond with them brings on another kind of feeling, one that is indescribable. Now that we are living a more comfortable life, I can spend more quality time with them, the kind of time I wish I had when Kel and Jo were younger. The desire to bond had always been there but the opportunity was not. Now, the desire is still there but the opportunity does not present itself. Kel and Jo, being grown up that they are now, already have their own personal schedules and are almost always busy with school, sports or friends.
I am at swimming lesson with De now. I made a decision to be very “conscious” this time around since De is my youngest child so it is my last chance to work on the “bonding” department with my kids. My goal is to remain or improve the bonding level with De today and continue for many years more …..